Part 12: more silly stories from the Noodles chronicles..
sometimes there will be pictures, sometimes not..
Side note: he refers to me as his Lunkheaded Manservant (Lunkhead for short) and Jill as his Beautiful secretary..now you know😂❤️🐶
Hi, I’m William J. Birnes and this is a transcript from UFO Magazine: the Podcast. I’m here today, live in studio, with a young man, Noodles the Pet Detective from Chicago..
Lunkhead: Dog, he’s a dog, a puppy really and he’s not a pet detective or a young man, he’s a dog.
William: Right. And you’re his… let me get this straight “lunkhead?” I’m sorry is this real, what is a lunkhead?
Noodles: He is, ha!
L: Oh hi, no I am Michael, I’m with Noodles and I am not a “lunkhead”, that must’ve come from him. Thanks a lot buddy!
William: Oh ha ha, I’m glad to get that straightened out, I was a little worried. So Noodles, tell us a little bit about why you’re here.
N: So it turns out I’ve been abducted by aliens..
L: Hold on hold on, you have not been abducted by aliens noodles.
N: OK lunkhead, that’s what the doctor said.
L: No Noodles, no she did not say that you were abducted by aliens. The doctor said you have a foreign body in your body. That’s all she said.
N: I don’t think so lunkhead, she said I have an alien life form living in my body telling my brain to eat other brains, therefore it’s living in my brain, like Tom Hardy in that cool movie Venom.
L: It’s not living in your brain Noodles, it’s living in your butt. And I knew you were too young to see those movies…
N: Lunkhead stop saying things like that, you’re just trying to embarrass me, it’s in my brain, I can hear it. It’s talking to me, it’s telling me to eat eat eat and you know right now it’s telling me to eat YOUR brains!!
L: Noodles you’re not gonna eat.. hey get off, stop it, get off me Noodles! Puppy you got to chill out.
N: But I need more brains!!
L: oh you can say that again!
Swat!
L: OWWW! No Noodles, no you don’t need to eat brains. So listen, Noodles does not have an alien living in his body Noodles has a tapeworm or tapeworm(s). And he’s been very lethargic, kind of off and very hungry lately and it’s one of the reasons we have not been posting much on social media.
N: Brains!! I want brains!
L: Noodles! No one’s eating brains. Now you are not Tom Hardy, and this is not some superhero movie, you are just a little puppy and you ate a flea or some thing and it gave you a tapeworm.
N: Listen lunkhead this is my story and if I want to tell people that an alien being has taken over my body and that’s what I’m gonna do! AND IM BETTER LOOKING THAN TOM HARDY!
L: OK OK Noodles, you can tell them whatever you want, but I’m just telling them the truth.
N: Truth shmuth lunkhead, you wouldn’t know the truth if it hit you in the face!
L: Ow, ow stop Noodles!
N: See Lunkhead!
L: Noodles just get this straight you ate something dumb and rancid off the sidewalk, probably and now you’re paying the consequences with a little bit of diarrhea and you’re tired and maybe getting the shakes from tummy pain and that’s the extent of it.
W: Wait? You weren’t abducted or had your body taken over..
N: Brain.
W: What?
N: My brain, not my body..
L: Your butt you mean..
N: ITS NOT IN MY BUTT YOU IDIOT!!
people are idiots.
W: But you have no real alien story? Why did you bring him!
L: He said you were a specialist and he’s seen a million specialists lately so I thought you were a vet…
N: Lunkhead!
L: Shut up Noodles! But then in other Noodles news, good news hopefully?
Noodles, tell the folks our good news.
N: Brains! Brains I need brains!
L: Noodles! Stop it!! You do not need brains. OK he’s obviously not gonna take this seriously, so I’ll just tell you. Our neurologist does not think noodles has epilepsy but he does not know what he has. So I guess that’s good news but it’s also leaves us a mystery.
N: Brains! I need Brains!
L: Noodles! Stop stop Noodles, stop it stop stop it quit it Noodles, stop jumping on me stop it! Stop! Stop stop stop stop Noodles! Be nice ugh.
N: Brains!
L: Anyways, he seems to be feeling better, in case you can’t tell. He’s just acting a little, I don’t know, weird?
N: Is this thing still on William? I need your listeners to bring me brains…
W: I turned it off 5 minutes ago..
N: Arrrgh!
W: off, stop, stop it, get off me dog..arghh oof, ugh, stop biting my head..
N: BRAINS!!!!!!
L: NOOOOOOOODLES!!!
